Ruth and Boaz - the reward of character above care
Delight your heart, desire of your heart, or design your heart?
Which will God do for you?
At the heart of the story of Naomi and Ruth is that they returned home to the land of Israel in suffering. They had lost much and clung to each other in grief nursing broken hearts.
When the town came to see them on their return, Naomi said:
“Don’t call be Naomi, she told them, “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” (Ruth 1:20)
Naomi had lost two sons and her husband. Ruth had lost her husband. So Ruth made a pledge to her mother-in-law, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people, and you’re God my God.” (Ruth 1:16).
They had heard that even during great famine across the lands, the Lord of Israel had provided food for His people. So as the barley harvest began, Naomi and Ruth where found in the fields gleaning food from the left-over’s of a relative, a well respected and wealthy man called Boaz.
She found favour in his eyes, he noticed her and blessed her saying, “Stay in these fields and I will make sure none of the men hurt you”.
These are the character traits of Ruth that impressed Boaz to make her his new wife:
1. Her diligence in the fields 2. Her character, that she took care of her mother-in-law, she had been talked about in town and her choices had given her a good reputation 3. Her obedience to his instructions to stay where he could protect and provide for her 4. Her commitment, though she was a Moabite, she had pledged herself to God and his people 5. Her honesty and purity (although she had been married before) 6. Her assertiveness and respectfulness when she went to him with her plea 7. Her godliness
The importance of seeking God’s will in dating is that it gives room for His will to be done. You won’t fall into trap of complacency or that of self design. Your story may not have the same details, but your character can develop the same traits that will attract a godly partner or keep you safe in the hope and realities of Christ as your ‘guardian redeemer’.
Dating will test you. The problem with dating within your ‘own will’ is that the PROCESS of dating, meeting people, starting and stopping connections, learning about dating techniques, methods, listening to dating guru’s and immersing yourself in dating culture WILL change you. And because of your changes, your options for a godly match may greatly diminish.
Is your heart open to care for others? Is your character expressing the good fruits of the Holy Spirit? Those of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness and self control?
The biblical standard for widow’s (single women) in the church was to give themselves to acts of charity. I believe this instruction is grossly overlooked and could be why so many women are falling away from faith, taking it upon themselves and/or simply “waiting”. Charity is the action required. It keeps you practising hospitality, community involved (not lonely) and others focused. This may be how a man learns of you, can observe you and is drawn to you for a relationship. This may also be the fastest path to finding your Boaz. Instead of wedding plans and husband wish-lists, (my counsel is to leave those details with the Lord), the bible instructs you to a life of service (see 1 Timothy 5).
This is counter-cultural to what the dating world will teach you to do. The popular philosophy in dating for women leans toward self care and will draw you into new age mysticism, teaching you concepts such as ‘knowing your truth’, courses teaching you to become feminine goddesses to get what you want, teaching you secrets of seduction and sexual magic techniques for how to make a man fall in love with you.
Both Ruth and Boaz honoured marriage and the principals that make it work. Boaz found a way to make it happen and the story shows he went to great lengths to ‘do it the right way’. Ruth was not complacent nor pushy. She showed proper respect and he was attracted to her godly character, and believed that she would be worth the effort. He believed she would be faithful because she showed faithfulness by looking after someone else’s welfare above her own. If you are struggling in the current culture of dating, step back, makes some changes and show your faithfulness and obedience to God first. Be found in His fields and you won’t sell your future away to chance, secrets of guru’s or the god of self and sensuality.
“May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace.” - (Number 6:24)
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